Friday, July 9, 2010

Do bears really poop in the woods?

Hi Scooter Dude; The cost is a bit more, but one other well know Transformer is any politician hoping for a chance at or a return to office. They fawn and smile at you while assuring you that they are working on your cause as hard as they can, but need just one more term to get it right. As long as you pony up the money you are the fair haired boy or girl. When they move on to the next sucker he or she get's the same treatment. There was a political rally out here a couple of years ago where the politician didn't realize the mic was still on. His parting shot to his aide was, "Jesus, what a bunch of bozo's," and he still won the election. I have always wanted to use the opening for a speech with, "I come before you to stand behind you to tell you about something of which I know nothing," but I've never had the guts to use it for fear they'd elect me to Congress. Hell, that's how the Governor got elected last time, and she proves the truth of the statement time and time again. I have found that the City of Seattle and the surrounding cities have the best rose gardens in the State, fertilized liberally by all the horse shit the politicians spread every election cycle. That is the difference between the cities and the rural communities, we know horseshit when we see it, and try to avoid it as much as possible. I do hope you have good air conditioning at the apartment. I know the temps have been hotter in the city that out here. Yesterday we only got up to 88 at the house and the day before 91. Today is supposed to be another scorcher too, hopefully it will stay in the 80's again today. Mostly the house has been a whole lot cooler than outside. We use fans to circulate the cool evening air, but had to quite the practice early last evening when we were visited by the local black bear and decided it was better to close the front doors than have the bear wander into the house, and he was that close. I fear that if he shows up again I will have to use the 30-06 on him, he has become unafraid of people and the State refuses to handle the problem. If they don't I will. I have always wanted to make a bear claw necklace. This is not a small bear either, when he stands on his back legs he is about 6 feet tall. How do I know? Because last evening he did so at one of our picture windows and about scared the crap out of the wife. Stay cool Kevin and just remember that this weather much like a meal at a greasy spoon, this too shall pass. Sincerely, Country Boy ---------------------------- Good morning Country, I know no prose finer, nor more true, nor more entertaining than what comes from the fertile brain of a good country boy. Thank you, Sir! In the midst of dire tunnel over-run stat warnings and officials' out-fumbling-for-the-check expertise I always prefer the sweet perfume of cow shit to the stomach churning malodor of horse shit. Of course neither tastes any good to me at all, not even washed down with bathtub fulls of good London gin. But I love the big green jalapeno-filled martini olives. And then there is the unsubtlety of the gagging stench of stepped-in dog shit on my Birkenstocks..... the fruit of sociopathic political self-interests... Yesterday I went on two boat rides. The breeze over the water was refreshingly cool. My Vespa and I sailed from Seattle to Bremerton on the ferry, a far too short one hour scenic tour, then putt-putted thirty-plus wooded miles to Shelton for a fun, tasty salsa lunch with a couple of radio ham lady-friend hotties. Among good radio people these two are the cream at the top. It was so good to see them again. The lunch at Las Palmas was delicious, as usual. This great little taqueria in the alley behind C.R.A.P. Auto parts on First Street was crowded. We seemed to be the only gringos there. Aside from a nearly completed new fire-house, and the closure (relocated?) of the liquor store, Shelton doesn't seem to have changed much. The daily "big fish" gathering in the little pond at Lynch Creek Floral were still in uninterrupted session over morning coffee. I even used part of my old left-over $5 store-credit from the great Sage Bookstore to acquire a nice, small dark purple and green hand-sewn felt egg plant key fob for my new city-living key collection, separate from my silver, single-purpose, unforgettable elephant Vespa key ring. The prized acquisition du jour was a 1930's era Saturday matinee movie style 7 1/2" tall rocket ship bubbling lava lamp / night light which now eternally blasts off up the wall from our living-room's wall socket. Rocket Ship Night  Light Like the , such sublime treasures are rare in my lifetime. The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors. I miss my old Whizzer. City life is well seasoned by occasional trips to the countryside for air, I'm finding. So, if you go into the woods today, Country Boy, you may be in for a big surprise, not from any teddy bear's picnic, but 6' tall bears do poop there... watch where you step. Proof that bears do poop in the woods. Hasta luego, Scooter Dude

1 comment:

  1. Comments, Emails, Rages Invited Here

    You too may become internationally infamous. Just send your outrage here to "comments", where I will edit and delete any logic or point in order to make me look brilliant in comparison to your altered rambling, disjointed written atrocity.

    Scooter Dude